Monday, April 19, 2010

just when you think you've got it all figured out... here comes a new lesson

The older I get, the more I am learning and changing. I'm finding that saying, "I'm sorry" is possibly the hardest thing you will ever say, but probably the most impactful decision you will make. As parents, we are always teaching our kids to say those very words when they do something wrong, but yet it's embedded in us to resist it. Can you imagine how different life would be if we were more apologetic for our actions and words?!? I've been with the same man for what seems like a lifetime and I find those words especially hard to choke out when I owe him the apology. It's amazing how much we are driven by our pride. So, I'm choosing to try to be a better person, recognize when I am wrong, and do something to make it better. I will somehow continue to find ways to get over myself and my pride in order to bring about happier times in my life. Times that stick with you forever. I will try to hold onto those sweet moments and breathe them in more fully. On that note......
My son rode his bike for the first time without training wheels this weekend. At that very moment, hearing him screaming with such a sense of accomplishment "I'm doing it, I'm DOING IT!", nothing else mattered, but him and the fact he had accomplished something he had worked really hard at doing. I want to let go of the crappy moments and focus more on those wonderful instances when life is really about what it should always be about... finding things that make you happy, loving those in your life, being content with what you have, and loving so deeply that sometimes it hurts! My chest almost burst with pride at him as the tears welled up in my eyes. I'm not the perfect parent, and I'm learning lessons every day. I know there are rough days, crappy attitudes, but it small victories that bring us the greatest joys. Today, I focus on those... small victories!

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